It took me to get to a breaking point to inquire about professional guidance for myself. I am a do it herself kind of girl which means I will find a way to make things happen on my own. Before seeking a therapist, I copped with my subconscious health through exercise, praying, reading, writing, and spending quality time with myself; however, as mentioned, I was at a breaking point and didn’t know how to control what was brewing within, so I sought help.

When I started seeking a therapist, I drafted a list of things I needed and wanted from my therapist. Some of those things on the top of my list were a black female who understood the LGBTQ community, someone who had a background in the things I was dealing with, such as stress, grieving, anxiety, and the list continues. I never understood how important my mental and emotional health mattered until I genuinely took the time to care for myself. Three of the reasons that allowed me to finally seek assistance is listed below.

NonBias Person To Listen 

Since starting therapy, I have been able to deep dive and decipher what triggers my emotions. I chat with a few family and friends about particular life events; however, I have learned not everything requires discussion amongst friends, especially if it’s an issue between myself and my significant other. Having a therapist has allowed me to talk things out for understanding. When conversing with those close to me, sometimes they listen to respond vs. listening to understand, and that’s a boat I discovered myself in a lot. 

Understanding The Why

Not controlling or understanding my feelings allows me to deep dive into the WHY behind many of my actions and emotions. I am the person who can hold a grudge; however, it’s a habit I am trying to break out of. My therapist often asks me “why” concerning many things, which allows me to reflect and share my more profound emotions about whatever we are discussing. Better yet, I have been able to explore the underlining and root of a particular feeling.

Understanding My Worth

Everyone should know their worth and what they will and will not tolerate when it relates to friends, family, co-workers, and romantic relationships. I have always told myself I know my worth; however, when thinking about sessions with my therapist, I can say I have not always treated myself with the best respect and, that’s my truth. For instance, I was allowing people who constantly hurt me to stay in my life.

I never had anyone ask me WHY, so when asked the question related to how I was feeling, it made me dig deep into my feelings and ask myself WHY. Therapy may not be for everyone, but for me, it helps. Talking about my inner thoughts and taking the time to take care of myself has allowed me to switch gears and move differently in life.